Silver Feathers & Golden Dreams
by TwilightsChild
Summary: Usagi is about to turn 18 but while all her friends are planning away their lives, Usagi is in turmoil. What will she decide Destiny, or that one chance of Fate?PLEASE READ and REVIEW, it means a GREAT deal to me!
1. Chapter 1

Well This is a brand new story I'm starting, mainly focuses on Usagi and her struggles a year after Chaos is defeated. Well Hope you Enjoy!

The wind softly shifted the leaves outside Usagi's window, letting a shadow fall over the inside of her room as she sat at her desk.

"...Well I hope everything is going good for you all, I can't wait to see you this summer! Love, Usagi."

"There! Now to send this to Michiru-San, and Haruka-San," she said stuffing the newly written letter in the pale pink envelope sitting next to her; already addressed. Fighting with the seal a few minutes she got it to close successfully...even if it took a few tiny pieces of tape.

"Usagi?" Luna called coming into her room. Jumping onto the desk next to the girl, she noticed the glisten of something sticky on the girls mouth and noted the envelope in hand. "Aren't you supposed to be meeting up with the girls by now?", she asked clearing her throat a bit.

The teen gave a sharp yelp and jumped up, "Oh no! I forgot! Thanks for reminded me Luna, your a life saver!" she said lunging for the door. Pausing at the front door to put her shoes on she called out, "Mom! I'm leaving for Rei's", before getting a response she was out the door.

Usagi Tsukino; 17 year old 2nd year student at Tenth District High School in Juuban, Tokyo. Just your normal, meatball headed teenager.

Hurrying past people, and tormenting herself about eating that extra donut that morning...as well as the three that came after it, she finally came to the stairs of the Hino Shrine. Huffing, she groaned as to why their meeting place was up so many stairs.

Reaching the top practically crawling she was over shadowed by a dark shadow, looking up she was faced with the smirks of her four dearest friends. Trying to smile, and hide the fact she was late, again.

"Usagi..." Rei said, annoyance clearly in her voice. Usagi winced a bit and looked up at the raven haired girl.

Looking down at the blonde Rei sighed, "I give up...after all these years, it's not worth it anymore" she said shaking her head.

Chuckling a bit, Makoto leaned down helping her friend to her feet. "Well at least we're not late yet" she said, trying to straighten the odd girl out.

"I thought I was late?" Usagi asked clearly confused.

"Well yes, and no", Ami interjected. Removing her glasses and setting them and one of the many short books she carries back into her medium sized shoulder bag.

The expression on Usagi's face got a few sweat drops. "We told you to be here at eleven, right?" Minako said. Usagi looked at her friend, who at certain times could pose as her twin and gave a slight nod. "Well, we told you that, figuring you'd be late like always. We really didn't need to leave until noon, well now." She said glancing at the watch on her arm.

Usagi's mouth dropped open, "you mean I...?" pointing to the stairs- the others nodded. "And you...?" she said exasperated. They each nodded, giggling slightly.

"No time to dwell on it now, Usagi-Chan", Rei said moving down the stairs as the others began following. After another groan Usagi began following her friends.

"I'm so glad exams are over! Time to relax and wait for the last week of school to be over with," Minako said throwing her arms in the air to rest behind her head. They all were currently on the bus going to a new animal exhibit across town. Minako and Usagi sat in one row, Rei and Ami were in one across the aisle while Makoto stood in between the two with her picnic basket.

"Usagi, I'm very proud of you- it seemed like you didn't need all that much help studying this year", Ami said looking at the blonde who was inadvertently staring out the window. "Usagi...?"

"Eh?" she said just hearing her friend. "Oh I'm sorry Ami-Chan, what did you say?" Everyone sweat dropped, except for Usagi.

"Never mind Usagi" Ami said laughing a bit.

"What? What'd I miss?" she said looking from one friend to another. That broke out another short burst of laughter from the girls.

"School is almost over for good you guys! We get to start a new chapter in our lives, aren't you excited?" Rei said beaming. The other nodded in agreement, it was something very exciting for each of them. Though Usagi didn't join in the planning and laughter- she sat and looked out the window silently.

OOOooooo, I wonder what's on Usagi's mind! Well I know (I'm the writer :P) but, you'll just have to wait until the next installment! Please tell me if you want it!


	2. Chapter 2

The animal exhibit was something new and fun in the area, it had places you could actually touch and play with some of the animals; as well as more educational exhibits. They each headed to the pin where they could play with some of the baby animals.

"Now, just because they are babies doesn't mean they nibble like your kittens and puppies at home, so please be warned of this ahead of time." The attendent told them as they walked into the pin.

"Usagi look!" Minako said squeling as she pointed to a small koala, tilting it's head at the strangers around it. The girls moved closer to it, and watched it's eyes wander over each of them...then like it had done before- tilted it's head in curiosity.

"Would you all like a picture with Lulu?" another of the attendents in the pin asked coming up next to the small ball of fur.

"That would be so cool! Let's get one, oh can we please?" Minako asked giving her friends her famous big starry eyes. After they agreed the attendent asked one of the girls to pick Lulu up, whoever wanted to hold her in the shot. Everyone except Usagi tried but none were successful, everytime one of them tried Lulu backed up more, until it was almost inside it's cubbyhole.

"It's okay Lulu, we wont hurt you" Usagi said giving the baby a reassurring smile. She reached her arms out for the koala, and was able to pick her up with ease. Her friends just stared in amazement at how easy she had done it.

"Well Usagi is destined to be a great mother, it's only natural." Makoto said laughing. The other's joined in, all except Usagi- who stood silent as the picture was taken.

After the exhibit it had gotton dark considerably, as they all parted they agreed to meet at Rei's after school the next afternoon.

"Usagi, how was the exhibit?" Luna asked once she had returned. Luna was already curled up on her bed, her cresent moon glistened only by the light of the moon.

Turning on the lamp that rested on her dresser, she turned to Luna "It was fun, we got our picture taken with a baby koala, though Minako took it home to make us copies. Makoto packed a great lunch as always, so it was a great sunday" she said smiling half heartedly.

"Usagi...?" Luna said softly.

"Yes Luna?" Usagi said already getting dressed for bed.

"Nothing..." the cat said as she watched her princess seat herself at her desk, going over homework.

Usagi waited until Luna had fallen asleep before moving her schoolwork to the side and bringing her journal to the top.

"Sunday,

Today was like any other, I keep trying to hide the one thing that keeps me second guessing my future. I know if I were to tell any of them, they wouldn't accept it. Of course not, it involves them just as much as it involves me and the rest of the world. I can't help it...I love him..."

Usagi finished writing and sat back, looking at her hand...at the ring Mamoru had given her more than a year ago. A ghost of a smile lifted her lips before she turned out her lamp and plunged her room into darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

The last week of school flew by as the weeks before it had, time seemed to move faster as they got older. _Trying to rush us into our predestined future are you Pluto_? Usagi thought, leaning against the school building waiting for Ami.

While waiting she pulled the most recent letter she had received from Mamoru; it briefly stated he would be home for her birthday, as he miraculously had a convention for school that same weekend. He would be bringing two of his American friends with him, as they had been invited to the convention as well. She sighed softly- she wouldn't have much time with him if he brought friends.

After she had defeated Chaos, Mamoru left again to finally start his over seas schooling. Though it was promised- they hadn't seen much of each other that past year.

"Usagi? I thought you would have left already." Ami said surprised to see her friend. Usagi snapped out of her thoughts and turned to her friend being as hyper as usual.

"Well I was curious!" she said smiling. It felt almost fake now.

"Curious of what?" Ami said starting to walk with her friend.

"Is Ryo-Chan coming down this summer?" She asked bouncing next to the blue haired girl. Noticing how she blushed at the name of him, Usagi egged her on. "Oh he is! Well I'll talk to Minako and see if we can't get you two alone somehow!" she said laughingly, as Ami gasped and ran after her friend.

Once they got to Rei's temple, they agreed to spend the first day of a school free summer at the beach. So the quickly packed up and headed to the shore.

Any man would have to be blind not to stop and notice the five gorgeous beach bunnies, laying out all in a row- each having a defining colored beach blanket underneath them. Know one would guess that the color represented which sailor senshi they were. Minako bounded back to the group, carrying a bunch of water bottles for them, and settled back on her orange blanket.

"Usagi-Chan, is Mamoru coming down for your birthday?" she asked handing the other blonde a bottle.

"Hum, yes. I have to meet him at the airport on the 29th, he's bringing two friends with him- so you're all welcome to come." She said taking a sip of the cool water.

"Oh really?" Minako and Makoto said simultaneously, getting a laugh from everyone.

"Yes, they have a convention to go to...he said they would try to make my party, but he wasn't sure." She said recalling the exact words from the letter. Most of them nodded, but Rei was silent as she watched Usagi quickly put her sunglasses on and lean back.

"Usagi, how about staying at my house tonight?" Rei asked smiling at her friend. "You all can if you want, no restrictions since we don't have school." She said, and that sent Minako off talking about the music they should listen to and what food Makoto should make. Rei was still silent watching Usagi, who had agreed- but with only a nod of her head.

Their laughter and music could be heard from the bottom of the temple stairs as they sang and joked around in Rei's room.

"Minako, it's no wonder you placed so high in that idol contest last year. Your voice is amazing!" Ami said as Minako finished off singing a song she had recently written.

Minako smiled then looked sullen for a moment; "I miss Yaten-Kun..." everyone was quiet for a moment remembering the Three Lights.

"I'm sure we'll see them again, don't worry." Rei said trying to cheer everyone up.

Usagi perked up a bit as well, "That's right! I don't think we could go through so much with them to never see them again." she said, looking more like she was trying to convince herself.

Finally after a few more hours of partying, they decided to call it a night. Minako, Makoto, and Ami were fast asleep in no time- Minako mumbling about what outfits to wear, Makoto demanding to know what's in some sort of food, and Ami going over equations. Rei and Usagi laughed at them for a few moments then decided they weren't completely tired and went to sit outside Rei's room.

"Here, sit on the step and I can brush your hair," Rei said when the blonde let down her odango's. Usagi smiled and did as she suggested.

"It's nice being pampered like this, I might get used to it," she kidded, which got a sharp tug on her hair as a response. "Ouch!"

Rei laughed a bit and brought the brush through her friends' hair, "I'm sorry." They sat there in the moonlight while Rei gently brushed Usagi's hair. "Usagi...Are you okay?" Rei asked through the silence.

"Eh? What do you mean?" She asked.

"I mean...you seem distant. Are you and Mamoru alright?" Rei could feel something shift in her friends' aura, so she pressed on a bit. "Please tell me Usagi?" she asked, setting the brush down.

"I'm fine, really. I'm just thinking a lot...about my future." she said looking up at the moon.

"What do you mean?" The raven-haired girl asked.

"I can't help but feel pressured. So much is expected of me Rei... What if I disappoint everyone with the decisions I make?" Usagi asked, sounded more serious by the second.

Rei was silent for a moment, then pulled her friend back against herself, resting her head on top the blondes, "Usagi-Chan, you've seen the future- in Chibi-Usa. How many mistakes could you have made?" She said reassuring.

"That's what I'm talking about...what if something has changed, something we don't know about? What if I make the wrong decisions and Chibi-Usa isn't Chibi-Usa anymore?" she said almost of the verge of tears. "It's all up to me to try and keep the future the way it is, what if I mess it up?"

"Usagi, only you can decide your future. If you make a wrong choice it's still your future, so there really isn't a wrong choice. If Chibi-Usa isn't the exact same, you'll still love her no mater what right?" The blonde nodded a bit. "Then you have nothing to worry about, your future is yours. And no matter what decisions you make- I will always be by your side."


	4. Chapter 4

The day had finally come; Mamoru would be coming home. Usagi was busy running around her room trying to find the perfect outfit to wear, while Luna sat atop her dresser.

"Luna! I have nothing to wear!" She cried, tossing another outfit onto the bed. All the cat could do was look at the clothes scattered around the room and wonder how she _couldn't_ find an outfit. Just then, someone knocked on her bedroom door, letting themselves in as well.

"Usagi?" Rei said coming into the girls room. Minako and Makoto coming in behind her. They all stopped and steatdropped as they took in the mess.

"Eh? Oh, I'm glad your here! I can't find anything to wear," she whined again.

The other's laughed, "That's what we figured, so we decided to come early and help. Now sit down and let us do the work!" Rei said moving her friend into her desk chair, as Makoto started picking up the thrown clothes, and the other blonde rummaging through the remaining garments in Usagi's closet. "Just calm down, okay? We're here to help you." She said, looking over some of the clothes.

Usagi nodded and watched her friends going through her room, and tried her best to calm down. "We need something casual, but not too casual. Something dressy but not overly so..." Minako mumbled from the closet, as Makoto tried squeesing in next to her putting up some of the clothes. "Ah-Ha!" she said, nearly scaring the brown haired girl to death.

She pulled out a simple short jean skirt that ruffled a bit at the bottom, and a light pink shirt. She went straight to Usagi and forced them into her arms. "Just try it before you start arguing, okay?" She asked, a small smile on her face, she had to nod in agreement...Minako was scary at times.

Usagi came back into the room, with a surprised look on her face. "This actual works!" she said. The shirt had looked plain, but was actually made of silk, making it shimmer. It wrapped half way around her body- lined with a thick strip of white. It was made to look like the top portion of a short-sleeved kimono- and it did the design justice. Before any talking, Minako pushed her back into her desk chair, as she and Rei stood above her. Examining her hair.

"Here," Rei said pulling something out of her small bag. "I thought we could use this." That was the last thing Usagi heard before they were done.

When she looked in the mirror, she didn't see the normal Usagi. Though nothing had really changed, they had brushed her hair till it shined like magic. The mystery thing Rei had pulled out were tiny pink bows, that wrapped around her odangos, and left the ends of the ribbon to twirl around the first few inches of her hair. It left her speechless.

"Well, you guys finished just in time. We have to start heading out now." Makoto said.

Usagi stood in the waiting area for the plane number Mamoru had given her, her hands twisting and turning nervously. She didn't know why. 'This is Mamo-Chan, why am I so nervous?' Her mind screamed at her, forcing her to calm down. At least a tiny bit.

The minutes and hours ticked by, but still no plane. Usagi was more nervous then ever. Had she gotton the number wrong? Was he waiting in some other area, dissapointed in her?

Rei came up beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Usagi it's okay- this is the right number, you told me over a hundred times. I don't know why he hasn't gotton here yet- but I'm sure it's just a matter of time." She said trying to reassure her.

"We know why he hasn't gotton here, " Makoto said walking over to them. "the plane came early." Minako trudged in next to her.

"They said it came about an hour before we got here, I'm sorry Usagi-Chan." she said sympathetically as she watched Usagi walk over to the window.

"What? If it came an hour early, he should of called at least! We've been standing here for two hours looking like idiots." Rei said fiery. Just then the sliding doors nearest to them opened, and in strolled in Mamoru and two men his age, laughing and talking loudly.

"Mamoru!", Minako and Makoto said in unisen.

His head turned and he smiled at the girls, walking over to them- his friends following. "Hi girls, hope you haven't been waiting long. We got here early and these two wanted to get something to eat, and we kinda lost track of time." He said still smiling.

"Haven't been waiting long---!" Rei started off.

"No we haven't. You know me, I can't be on time to save my life. " Usagi said turning from the window and giving everyone a smile- only Rei was the one to notice how Usagi gripped the railing behind her, her arms shaking slightly.

"Ah Usa-Ko, how've you been?" Mamoru said, resting a hand on her blonde head once she was close enough. She smiled soflty up at him.

"I've been fine Mamo-Chan. Now, are you going to just let your friends stand there fidgiting or are you going to introduce them?" She said motioning to the two behind him.

He laughed a bit and turned to his friends, "This is Akeno & Juro, their home is a bit of ways from here...Nagasaki right?" He waited for one of them to nod, then went on. "We were all in the same exchange program, and they decided to come to a conference in the capital with me."

Akeno was a bit taller than Mamoru with light brown which was shorter then both other men, and had deep green eyes. Juro was the shortest of them- if only by an inch. He had blonde hair that was about the same length of Mamoru's, though ruffled. His bright brown eyes looked over the girls infront of him.

"Well Mamoru-Chan, you certaintly have quite the fanclub!" He said laughing at his own joke until he noticed the death glare he was given by more than one of the girls.

"How about we get out of here?" Mamoru said catching the glares his friend was getting.


	5. Chapter 5

"I don't know why Usagi didn't say anything to Mamoru-San, it doesn't make any sense to me..." Rei said sitting outside the temple with Yuuichirou. "You should have seen the way she gripped that rail, Yuui-Chan, it was like she couldn't stand without it." She said looking over at her dear Yuuichirou.

"Rei, I'm sure Usagi-Chan is fine. She probably didn't want to make a big deal out of it. She more than likely didn't want the first conversation they have to be a fight." He said putting his arm around her.

After Chaos, Rei realized how little time they all might have left and she didn't want to waste anymore of it. She and Yuuichirou had grown exceptionally close over the past year, and she couldn't be happier.

"I guess your right..." She said leaning against his shoulder.

"Happy Birthday Usagi!" Sang the four inner senshi, only days later. They were all in Usagi's room, waking her up- poppers in hand. Sitting up in her bed covered in glitter and confetti, she smiled up at her dear friends.

"You guys..." That was all she was able to get out before her eyes welled with tears, laughing the other girls hugged the teary-eyed birthday girl.

"Come on! We have a whole day planned right up until your party!" Minako said jumping off the bed pulling Usagi with her. "Get dressed!"

A few hours later they were all riding the bus toward the last event of the day before her party. "Please!" She begged again, a strong whine taking over her voice. She desperately wanted to know where they were taking her.

"Gee Usagi. Your 18 today, can't you try and act grownup?" Rei said shaking her head and smiling at her dear friend.

"I'm not 18 for another 2 hours, so I have plenty of time!" She said sticking her tongue out, as she resumed pulling on Minako's arm.

The bus lurched to a stop and the girls began to exit, "What? We're here already?" Usagi said as she left the bus behind the others. As soon as she stepped off the last step, Rei wrapped a blindfold tightly around her eyes. "What the...?"

"Shh! It's a surprise!" She said excitedly in her friend's ear.

She was then ushered forward; Ami on her right, Minako on her left, and Rei's hands rested on her shoulders from behind. They walked for a while, going through doors and out again until they finally stopped. The smell of flowers wafted in her nose, and she could feel the sun on her skin.

"Here Usagi." Makoto said lifting her up a bit to set her on a chair. The next few moments were silent, until she heard the soft tings of piano keys.

A soft melody began to play, soon accompanied by the sound of a violin as well as a guitar. "Open your eyes Usagi." A strong but familiar voice said from in front of her, though she could hear it clearly from all angles.

She quickly took the blindfold off to find herself in the center of a rose garden; a small stage centered just feet from her. The stage was a surprise all it's own; Michiru played the violin, while Haruka sat at the large piano. At the center of the stage, stood the Three Lights. Yaten and Taiki had a simple guitar each and Seiya stood between them with a microphone.

All Usagi could do was gasp in astonishment. It was the greatest gift she could have wished for! Her friends stood left of the stage with Hotaru and Setsuna, as the band began to play fully.

_Did you know..._

_Every time I close my eyes,_

_I see your brilliant light._

_The one that made me lose my mind. _

_Crossing that great distance_

_Never felt so lonely._

_Counting the steps to find my way back._

_Your special light draws me nearer._

_Let me into your heart,_

_Ill find a good way to start_

_Let me help you begin_

_Ill do it over and over again_

_Just let me..._

_Let me into your heart,_

_Ill find a good way to start_

_Let me help you begin_

_Ill do it over and over again_

_Please let me..._

_The never-ending light of your smile..._

_Etched itself inside my eyes for awhile_

_It never let me forget,_

_The day and time when we first met._

_So I'll ask again..._

_Let me into your heart,_

_Ill find a good way to start_

_Let me help you begin._

_Ill do it over and over again_

_Please, Please let me...!_

_Let me into your heart,_

_Ill find a good way to start_

_Let me help you begin._

_Ill do it over and over again_

_Please just let me...Mean something to you._

Seiya finally finished singing, opening his eyes he was left to find a once air headed girl sitting straight in her chair, tears flowing from her eyes- with that same smile he remembered lighting up her face.

**I want to thank you all for leaving such great encouraging reviews, I love each and everyone I get! You guys keep me going! I hope you like this chapter, and the ones to come! Kaley**


	6. Chapter 6

"Usagi, come on we have to leave now!" She heard Minako call from down stairs, but she didn't move. She sat in her chair staring at her reflection. She felt different. She couldn't explain it really. Her hair looked shinier, her eyes had more depth, and she really couldn't bring herself to think about the cake that was hers tonight. Something was defiantly changing in her.

Moving from her mirror she finally left her room and began to descend the staircase to leave with her friends. She could see them from the top of the stairs. They all looked so beautiful.

Minako was in a light yellow and orange dress that clung to her hips and dipper low on her chest, Ami was in a simple royal blue dress that hiked up on her left thigh and a thick chocker, Makoto had a hunter green dress with peasant sleeves and small pink flowers embroidered around it, and Rei was dressed in a deep red halter styled dress that hung closely to her body.

Their soft conversations turned silent once they saw Usagi on the stairs; Her hair was neat and tight in their odangos, small pearl clips were placed just inches from the buns. The dress she wore resembled that of her mother's, the Queen Serenity's in style. It was white and sleeveless with a tight light pink bow on the center of her chest, and a light pink train in the back, and a white chocker that had a large crescent moon dangling from it.

"Oh Usagi..." They said in soft gasps.

"Alright...We can leave now." She said smiling calmly at her friends.

The party was a huge success, the hall they had rented was packed with party guests all dancing and laughing. Guests kept arriving way into the night, but there was one person still missing. Mamoru.

Usagi had danced and danced with many different people from the time she was led into the hall, her feet ached and so did her heart. She excused herself from the group of people who had begged a conversation with her, and went to rest out on the balcony.

It was a rather large space, and thankfully no one else had noticed it yet. She leaned her elbows on the cool stone edge and looked up at the moon, her source of serenity.

"Isn't customary for the birthday girl to actually be at her party?"

Usagi turned around to see Seiya standing behind her, a long stemmed pink rose in his hand. "Seiya! When did you get here?" She said and immediately gave him a hug.

"A few minutes ago, in just enough time to see you escape out here. Here, this are for you, if you hadn't guessed." He said smiling down at the blonde as he handed her the flower.

She took the pink rose in her hands delicately and noticed the very center the petals were pearl white, "Seiya it's beautiful. Thank you." She said sincerely. She could still see him singing to her earlier that afternoon. She had been so emotional; she finally was able to see them all again, this time for a happier occasion.

"It's strange isn't it?" He said snapping her out of her thoughts; she looked over at him as he walked to the edge of the balcony. "To meet like this so casually. When we were all together..." He said, letting his voice travel away.

"I know, I was thinking the same thing, but I'm very happy we have the chance." She said coming up next to him.

"You seem different somehow, I'd figured you'd be plowing into your cake like old times, but your not." He said looking over at her with a contemplative smile.

"I grew up on you Seiya." She said giving him a playful smile.

"Yeah I guess you have." He said and looked around a bit, "So how long before lover boy comes to sweep you away for a midnight dance?" He said tongue in cheek.

Usagi's eyes darkened considerably, as she turned back to look over the edge, flower in hand. "He's not here..."

"Oh...is he still in America?" He asked, concerned for the precious girl.

"No...he's just busy." She said more like she was trying to convince herself of it.

Seiya stood stern, looking serious for a moment then lightened up and took hold of her hand. "Well, the birthday girl should have the very last dance. If you'll let me, I would be honored to share it with you." He said smiling genuinely down at her. With a blush she let him lead her back inside.

It was her party, she should be able to have fun after all.

Coming home a couple hours later after saying her goodbyes, she trudged up the stairs with a happy smile on her face. Luna followed, not looking all too happy.

"Usagi--" She began but was cut off when Usagi pushed the button on her answering machine.

"Message one..." The recording said.

_"Hey Usagi, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday once more before you go to sleep. I hope we can spend some more time together before I have to go back, it's been a pleasure to see you again. Good night." _Seiya said hanging up. Usagi smiled again, and Luna began to remind her not to get too involved when she was cut off yet again.

"Message two..." it said again.

This one was filled with noise, laughter and music in the background. _"Usa-ko? Oh well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry I wasn't able to make your party. We got caught up in the conference and decided to just stay in a hotel near the convention center. I'm sure I'll see you before I go back to school, Happy Birthday..."_ Mamoru said before a voice called him, the phone clicking silently after that.

She couldn't believe it...He really hadn't bothered to even show up. What was all that noise in the background anyway? It sounded like he was at his own party. Tears slowly filled her eyes, and she ducked her head, Luna just looking on- not knowing what to say.


	7. Chapter 7: Taking a Step

Usagi woke up late in the morning, later than usual. She hadn't slept well that night- tossing and turning in the dark. She sat up slowly, her body aching with every movement, and again the message last night filled her head...

_"Usa-ko? Oh well, I just wanted to say I'm sorry I wasn't able to make your party. We got caught up in the conference and decided to just stay in a hotel near the convention center. I'm sure I'll see you before I go back to school, Happy Birthday..." _

She shook her head hard trying to erase the sound of Mamoru's hurried voice. It wasn't right for him to stand her up, especially on her 18th birthday, the one day she had waited so patiently for!

"That's fine, I'm an adult now...I have to learn to take the bad, with they good." She said picking up her phone and dialing fast.

After a few rings the phone clicked as it was answered on the other end, "Ah, Seiya? Yes it's Usagi. I was wondering if you have any plans today? Oh you do...Really? Great, I'll meet you there than!" She said happily as she threw the phone down and went to get dressed.

About an hour later Usagi hopped off the bus as she made her way through the string of people waiting in line for tickets. Once up to the gate she told one of the security guards who she was...and after a rough patch with her I.D. they finally gave her her ticket and she made her way to the front row of the show.

Looking through her program, she was even more glad she came- The Three lights were doing one show while they were in town, and she was now in the front row, center seat. She looked around and noted it would be a small show, not for lake of fans- but because the theater they had rented was small. It would be a first come- first serves show. Turning back toward the stage the lights began to dim as the people hurried for their seats.

The curtains opened and the Three Lights appeared. They tried to speak over the screams of adoring fans- though not even Usagi could make out what they said. Seiya's eyes roamed the front row, stopping on her. He was talking- but she couldn't hear him, lastly he winked and the music started up.

The show finished a couple hours after; people began leaving the theater excited that they got to see one more show of the heartthrobs. Usagi waited outside the theater as the streetlights came on, lighting up her way home. She looked up even further, dark clouds covered the sky and blocked any indication of the moon, and she frowned a bit but was snapped out of her thoughts by Seiya.

"Hey!" He said running over to her.

"Hey yourself" She said smiling. He smiled back, stopping just short in front of her.

"Did you like the show?"

"It was amazing! Just like it used to be." She replied, throwing her arms in the air and laughing.

"I'm glad you liked it, I know it wasn't much of something for us to do today- but I'm glad I got to see you none-the-less." He laughed with her. "We finally have some real time to ourselves before we have to go, so maybe we could do something tomorrow?" He asked, slightly hopeful.

Every shoulder angel she had ever had screamed at her to politely turn him down, "Of course!" She said- defiant of those damn angels, it was time she listened to her devils.

Walking through her bedroom door, Luna jumped off her bed and walked around her feet. "Usagi, where have you been?" The cat asked worried. "No one could get a hold of you all day..." She trailed off as Usagi walked past her into the bathroom without a word. "Usagi?"

Turning on the water, she let it run till it warmed enough to wash her face. She didn't want to hear Luna now. She didn't want to hear anyone who constantly reminded her of what she _should_ be. Lifting her face her gaze landed on the mirror in front of her. Her eyes were dark and uncaring. A vision of Mamoru swam into the space behind her and she jumped turning around quickly- but of course, it had just been an illusion.

Her breath had quickened slightly in a matter of seconds, why had his face scared her so much? She stood contemplating for a moment or two before she realized she was gripping the counter. Removing her hands she walked back into her room to find Luna not there- _well, it's for the best_...she didn't want to ignore the guardian. Falling down on her bed she was overwhelmed with exhaustion- moving from emotion to emotion wasn't an easy thing.

**--- Hey guys! Sorry for such a delay in getting this to you, soo much drama goin on around here . I know not a good enough excuse, lol. Well I wanna thank all you guys who have stood patiently by waiting for this thing to be updated- Now Hopefully I can get it to you quicker! Again thanks for all the wonderful reviews!**

**You guys mean the world to me :)**

**Kaley**


	8. Chapter 8: Shattered Once

Usagi woke up groggy and bleary-eyed- she hadn't even bothered changing the night before. Moving off her bed she sat at her desk, her hair a mess and dark circles laden under her normally bright eyes.

"Usagi?" Luna said, bending her body inside the small crack of her doorway. "I think we need to talk..."

"No, we don't." She answered softly, undoing the buns in her hair, letting them fall freely.

"But Usagi...I really think we have a problem here." The cat guardian said looking genuinely worried.

"Luna, let me ask you a question..."

The small black cat perked a bit and nodded her head in the mirror. Without turning to face the cat she went on.

"Will I ever be able to live my life how I want? Or will I always be instructed on what path I must choose- to fit into the destiny I am _required_ to have, without choice?" she asked semi-sharply.

Luna looked shocked, opening her mouth to respond she quickly closed it and put her ears back in contemplation.

"Once you figure that answer out, then we can talk about anything you want", she said moving to the bathroom and closing the door with a soft click.

"I'm glad you came," Seiya said with a big smile, and handed her a white rose. "Thought it would be more appropriate then my usual red...didn't want you to be in a rut all day!" He said laughing a bit, which made her smile even brighter. He did care.

"Thank you, it's beautiful."

"Well now, it seems as if I've come back in the right time!" Seiya said looking around at the seasonal fair- held in the park. Lights lit up every tree, even this early in the day. Everyone walked around in traditional kimonos, it reminded Usagi of when her and the girls came here and helped out at the fish catching pool many years back. Both herself and he were dressed in long kimonos that scrapped the ground as they walked through the crowd talking and pointing at the unique displays all around them.

The day grew on and the soon the stars came out to play, still walking through the attraction, mostly talking amongst themselves now. "Oh! Look!" She squealed pointing up ahead at the fire breathers. Moving closer, they watched in amazement as men, as well as woman spat on the long torches making them erupt into bigger and longer flames. "Wow..."

Seiya stood next to his beautiful friend, but couldn't quite focus on the fire at all. _She really is a goddess..._ He thought looking at the way the fire danced around her face, lighting it up with just hints of red and orange. Her blue eyes stood out so innocently- though he knew all to well what she had seen over the years.

**_You can't have her._**

A voice in the far back of his mind sneered. _I know..._ he answered softly- not too convincingly.

**_She has a prince, what use could she have of you?_**

It kept on. A frown etched itself on his face, all he wanted was a chance to make her happy... but she did have her own prince.

**_I know you still remember how she crushed your heart the last time, returning to that Earth Prince._**

He still felt it, that sharp pain in his chest he had felt from that day on.

**_You have to face it, make sure you as well as she know the rules you are both set by._**

This time he didn't argue with the voice, but nodded softly turning helplessly back toward the fire that burned high in front of them.

"You're awfully quiet..." Usagi asked innocently, looking up at him. They were on the way back to her home; neither had said a word the whole way.

His head turned slowly toward her, she was still beautiful. _Like that would go away... _he thought in dismay. As if it would make it any easier...

They stopped in front of her door, him glancing up at the moon. "Usagi..." he said softly.

"Hm?" She said softly following his gaze to the stars.

"Mamoru has no idea how lucky he is does he..." He asked softly not really looking for an answer.

"What do you mean?" _Like she didn't know_. Finally turning back to look at her, his eyes shone with just as much pain as his heavy heart felt.

"God knows I would do anything for you. Just for a chance to make you a bit happy, I would give my own life..." he said watching a blush slowly rise on her cheeks and a soft smile set in her angel like face. "But you and I both know the stars wouldn't allow us to be together much less happy." He said sorrowfully.

Quietly he watched her smile fade and her eyes become darker, tilting her face down toward the ground- she nodded silently. "I can only say Mamoru doesn't know just how lucky he is- to spend every moment making you happy and seeing your smile," her head rose a bit, her eyes filled with lost hope that he couldn't place.

"We both know it's only harder to try something that's not meant to be in destiny. You have your prince Usagi, so my place is well defined," he said raising his hand to her cheek. "I'll always be here for you..." he trailed off, and for a second the clouds grew heavy and blocked the light of the moon.

Her eyes were darker because the light was gone, but she moved closer to him. He didn't know what he should do, but he knew even with every bit of strength he had- he wouldn't be able to move away from her. She stood on her toes and finally after everything they had been through over the years- her lips touched his.

The most exquisite feeling surged through him, and in the next moment- the clouds cleared and he was left standing in the street watching her door close.

_After all... I guess destiny really doesn't wish me to be happy_. Usagi trudged up the stairs as if in a daze and closed her door. Tears gently rushed over her lids and she didn't care. She let them fall. She knew they couldn't be together... but didn't she get a chance to try?

_"Will I ever be able to live my life how I want? Or will I always be instructed on what path I must choose- to fit into the destiny I am **required**_ _to have,_ _without choice?"_

Her words circled her head. _I guess I've already found my answer..._ her mind whispered. Barely feeling the wetness on her face she moved to her bed and curled in a small ball. Why couldn't she be happy? Why did destiny have to toy with her?

She knew she had to do something. _Tomorrow...I'll talk with Mamoru and make everything okay again. He has to listen to me..._

_------------------_

Hey guys! Thanks so much for all the great reviews! I know this has been awhile, I apologize soo much drama here! I feel like Usagi-Chan! I hope to be updating more regulary!Thanks again!

Kaye


	9. Chapter 9: Up Against The Wall

The next morning Usagi woke with a start to the sound of ringing. Reaching with closed eyes she successfully knocked the phone off her desk.

"Usagi?" She heard muffled on the other line. Falling over the bed she picked the phone up- now staring at her ceiling.

"Eh?" She said mumbling into the receiver.

"It's Haruka. Can you come to the beach house this morning, we have something we need to talk with you about." She said determination in her voice.

"Ah...I guess so. Let me get dressed and I'll be on my way," She said rubbing her eyes and sitting up, she barely heard a 'goodbye' before the sound of the click came. "Hmm...wonder what this is about" she mumbled putting the phone back on the hook.

About an hour later she stepped off the bus a bit a ways from the enormous beach house. She remembered when they Outer senshi came to the house, they began raising baby Hotaru. Everything came so quickly after that.

She could see the ocean clearly as she walked on the edge of the road. A high-pitched ring sounded through her thoughts and she searched for her phone.

"Hello?" She asked into it.

"Ah, Usa-ko. How are you?" The phone muffled out Mamoru's hurried voice. Her feet stopped moving and her heart began to pace. Maybe everything is okay now?

"Mamo-Chan! I'm fine, though I really want to see you. I need to talk with you," She said. She didn't want to sound so desperate, but it had to happen.

"Ah, I want to see you too, unfortunately I have some urgent classes I must take care of today and tomorrow...That's why I was calling. You won't be able to reach me for the next couple of days." He said still sounding muffled.

Her heart sunk even deeper in her chest if that was possible. The sound of the ocean carried louder in her ears and she thought for a moment she was in the water drowning. Shaking her head hard, she turned her attention back to the phone.

"Oh..." Was all she could manage before her throat closed tighter.

"I'm sorry Usa-ko. Okay, I have to go now...take care of yourself." He said and the muffled noise went away and was replaced by what sounded like music and laughter. The sharp click resounded in her head, her eyes went blank but her feet moved in a preset destination.

"Usagi...? Are you even listening to me!" Her head snapped and she looked up- Haruka and Michiru were standing in front of her. Haruka looking quite angry, while Michiru looked on with worried eyes.

"Haruka-San...? Michiru-San...?" she said, her voice barely audible. She couldn't remember how she got there, but there she was sitting on a couch.

"Have you heard anything I've said in the past ten minutes?" Haruka asked, folding her arms. Watching her as she shook her head.

She watched the older woman shake her head and hang it.

Setsuna walked around the couch and stood in front of her, "Usagi, the point is. You cannot keep this up," She said sternly.

"What are to talking about Setsuna-San?" Usagi asked genuinely confused.

"You and Seiya! It can never be, _never_. Don't you understand what will happen?" She asked feverishly. "Chibi-Usa will never exist! Crystal Tokyo might as well me a figment of your imagination!"

Usagi sat without a word, her eyes were a bit wide but still nothing.

"You have to end this." Haruka said looking down at the girl.

"There's nothing to end..." Usagi trailed.

"What do you mean?" Setsuna asked, knowing there was something between the two. She had felt it in her own heart the night before.

"There's also nothing to begin..." She kept trailing, her eyes unfocused.

"Usagi what are you talking about?" Michiru asked stepping forward.

Usagi moved without thought. Standing, she walked around the sofa so she could see all of them, their eyes were on her searching for an answer.

"This isn't a game Usagi, this is everyone's future your messing with- it's not right" Setsuna said, her voice filled with determination.

"I know it's not right!" She yelled, "No one knows better than I do...Do you have any idea how painful it is to have destiny and fate toying with your heart? While your left to walk around like everything's fine?" She said, her body shaking. "I have to chose what's best for everyone, no matter what I want".

"But you love Mamoru-San..." Michiru trailed off. "You've wanted to be with him ever since you got your memories of the Moon Kingdom back..."

"I still do, but he has better priorities then me... have you not noticed? His heart is no longer there. I can't go on with everything if I'm the only one making an effort! Am I supposed to just ignore my happiness so everyone is okay. Is that fair?" She screamed, tears falling to the floor, her whole body shaking.

The outer senshi stood silent for moments on end, the ticking of a clock resounded throughout the room. But that was the only sound...

------

_Hey guys, I decided to post this only a day after the last chapter b/c one its pretty short- and i didn't think it was such a great chapter to have a whole week by itself..lol so just consider this like a "bonus" chapter, lol. Thanx for all your reviews!_

_Kaye_


	10. Chapter 10: Drained

**Disclaimer: **No I do not own Sailor Moon.

Usagi walked down the main street of Tokyo, alone and cold- left with her own thoughts. She had left soon after her outburst at the Outer's beach house; they had nothing more to say- and neither did she.

_They have no business telling me what to do!_ She scoffed in her own thoughts, folding her arms over her chest.

**Oh yes they do, and you know that.** That small annoying voice rang out.

_Oh, shut up. I'm the future Queen of Tokyo..._

**You are? If you mess everything up now- are you sure you will be?** It sang with a hint of laughter.

Usagi stopped short. _What?_ She asked softly.

**Destiny is everywhere Usagi. Everything you do now has an outcome for the future. Don't you remember? Nehelenia tried to take Mamoru from you...and Chibi-Usa started to disappear...**

"That's right," she whispered not to anyone but her-self. The wind shifted hard and a chill ran through the air as small drops fell from the sky. Her perfect sunny day was turning dark and dreary. She wrapped her arms tighter around herself and resumed walking. Maybe it won't rain too hard.

_If my future meant not being loved, then I don't want to be Queen!_ She hissed gritting her teeth against the sudden cold.

**You don't mean that, you've dreamed of it.**

_So what?_ Her own nails bit slightly into her arms.

**Your willing to give up everything for a future you know nothing about?**

_Oh, would you just go away!_

**Why wont you answer? Are you still unsure of what to choose? You can't play with Fate and still expect to run to the same Destiny you know now when you're done. **

Usagi held her hands tightly over her ears- that damn inner voice just wouldn't let up. The rain grew heavier and the wind stronger, colder. Her clothes were already soaked through. Slipping into the first door she came to, music flooded her ears and her inner voice was drowned out- _finally_.

It was some restaurant she hadn't been to. In-fact she had never even seen it. She remember walking by, the doors always boarded up. She glanced to her right and noticed the sign on the door- it was a club that was only open after 10pm.

The room itself was particularly dark, the walls a deep red and the floor coal black. Strobe lights flashed her way and her eyelashes began to blink rapidly. Holding her arm up a bit from the flashes she made her way to an empty table.

"Want a drink?" A tall guy walked up to her holding a notepad and pencil, his voice was barely audible- and she realized he was yelling.

She tried to tell him what she wanted but he couldn't hear her, so embarrassing as it was she pulled out her I.D. and he smiled and nodded. Writing done the word "Water?" She smiled helplessly and nodded. He was about to walk away when he pulled a small towel from his apron and handed it to her. Taking it gratefully she watched him leave before wiping off her drenched face, her hair was just a waste of the towel.

She looked around the room as she wiped down her neck; the room was pretty crowded, the dance floor was filled and only a few tables left open. Everyone was smiling and having a good time, drinking and laughing. It made Usagi want to join in, but before she did anything- she went to the bathroom... maybe she could salvage her hair.

10 minutes past and she came out, her odangos hadn't survived so for once, out-in-public she wore her hair down. A small clip on the left side of her hair, held it away from her bangs. She had laughed when she looked at herself- a Minako clone. The waiter looked a bit lost when she wasn't found at her table, she walked up to him and his eyes hiked up a bit- his smile flashing once more before he walked off to another table. She took her drink off the table and decided to walk around the room. Taking a few sips and dodging people, she was finally having a decent time- without any worries filling her head.

She stood near the dance floor, some couple having a dance off- rooting along with the people she jumped up and down in excitement. Until a sharp high-pitched laugh sounded throughout the air. Sounding almost like a scream Usagi's head snapped to attention and she looked up.

There was a second floor, balcony like. It had small candlelit tables and was a bit more romantic than the rest of the building. Scanning her eyes through the high railings, all she could see were delighted woman cuddling with good-looking men.

False alarm. She smiled a bit- her heart beating normal again. Still looking high-ward she smiled to herself, knowing one say she would be happy like that- with someone that loved her. Maybe it wasn't too late to make things right? Her heart began to beat harder in anticipation; a blush took over her cheeks. She felt so giddy.

Finishing her drink she walked to the bar to get it refilled, the bartender took her I.D. and refilled it quickly- the bar guests looking at her like she was crazy. She was probably the only person drinking water in the whole building, but she didn't care.

She picked her glass back up and began to turn around and walk back to the dance floor, when her eyes opened and her world stopped. She lost all feeling in her body- the drink she had just picked up slipped and crashed to the ground. She didn't even feel it splash over her feet. She couldn't feel anything- the noise drowned out and she heard her heart and her breath, just barely.

Right in front of her... for the whole world to see. Mamoru. Walking and laughing with his two American buddies, all of them accompanied by at least two woman. The woman clung to them and laughed at every word, even though all she could see were their mouths moving- she couldn't hear anything. They were walking toward the bar, right for her. She couldn't move, didn't know if she wanted to.

Mamoru's attention was caught for a mere second by the brunette draped on his arm as she leant up and kissed him.

He didn't pull away.

Suddenly a loud crack resounded in her head...and she knew it was her heart.

She couldn't breath- she had no control over her body; she was going to suffocate by her own inability to draw a breath.

They kept coming; one of his friends looked up and his eyes squinted just barely trying to remember something. Once it hit him, it was too late. Mamoru looked up and his smile was quickly wiped away. The other friend was oblivious so when the others stopped, he and his lady friend almost tripped over them.

"Usa-ko..." Mamoru said, but she couldn't hear him. Not because of the music, but because she was so numb to everything. He didn't move, the woman at his sides looked back and forth from the two and tugged on his sleeves- but he still didn't move. Waiter's came around her trying to clean up the mess of the glass and water- but she was unable to move.

Images of herself and Mamoru swam in her head, everything they had done together, and everything they had been through... all the things said between them...

'Usa-ko...I love you' It was all a lie.

Without air in her lungs, her eyes grew dark- and he still didn't move. He only moved once, but then again he didn't... it only seemed that way while she fell.

----------------------------

_**Notes: I really loved this chapter… maybe because it had a lot of emotion, sadness I mean to say. Everything is coming apart. **_

**_Thanks to all of you who have reviewed you guys mean the world to me! Hope this chapter isn't too late!_**


	11. Chapter 11: Present Spin

"Usagi..." She could hear it, a soft voice carried over a long distance- coming to rest at her ears. "Usagi, open your eyes..." Without thought, her eyes opened.

She was completely surrounded by nothing; her body was balled up- her arms wrapped tightly to her legs. It seemed like the same place she had been when Galaxia stole her star seed. Floating along, but not moving at the same time. "Wha...?" her voice echoed softly.

She felt so tired; her body ached with every thought of movement. Her body wanted to sleep forever...

"Usagi..." Her head lifted softly.

In front of her stood her future self. It was quite a shock if she could have shown it without hurting. A smile lifted the queen's lips a bit.

"What do you want..."? Usagi asked burying her face back in her arms. The older Usagi looked puzzled as to why she wouldn't be happy to see her.

"Usagi, your future is changing by the day. It's moving too fast. Everything you choose to do, you try to take back. Everything in the future is in turmoil. One minute everything is fine, the next its completely opposite... You have no idea how hard it is for me to keep up with all the changes!" She said trying to make a joke out of it.

Usagi looked up less amused. The queen cleared her throat a bit. "Your point is?" Usagi asked sharply.

"I just want to you be careful... You are messing with strong forces- Destiny and Fate. They don't like to be toyed with... if you mess too much with them...it will have consequences. I'm only warning you..." She said softly staring to dissipate already.

_That was wonderful...another threat...this time from myself_. She thought as her eyes closed and she fell deeper.

---

"...His fault, I can't believe he did this to her!" Usagi's head rolled hearing the muffled shout. Her eyes flickered open and she was left staring up at her ceiling. "He wont get away with it if I have anything to say about it!" She shifted hearing the voice again.

Turning her head to the side she was left looking across her room at her friends. Makoto looking angry clenching her fists together, Rei right along with her. Ami just looked sad and Minako stood arms folded over her chest.

"Everyone...?" Usagi's meek voice carried over to them and they snapped to attention turning and practically running back to her bedside.

"Usagi!" They all said in unison. A soft smile half lifted her lips. At least she had them.

"How are you, Usagi?" Minako said taking her friends hand, as her eyes searched over her face.

"I'm fine, what are you all doing here?" She said as she tried sitting up, Makoto lifted another pillow behind her back.

"Luna contacted us late last night when you were brought home by Mamoru..." Ami said sadly.

Like a strike of lightening and a roll of thunder, the images of the club ran through her head- last being that of Mamoru's shocked face. Usagi's eyes darkened and closed as she buried her head in her hands.

"Usagi..." Rei's voice carried softly. She heard what sounded like a small rumble before she felt a fast shift on the bed as Makoto stood up.

"I swear Seiya wont have a place to hide when I'm threw with him!" Her brunette stormed.

"What?" Usagi's head rose, her tears stood still on her cheeks as she looked up at her friends. "What does he have to do with anything?"

"What do you mean Usagi?" Ami asked, "Weren't you with Seiya last night at the club?"

Astonishment. That was the only way to describe Usagi's face. "No, I didn't see him at all yesterday..." Her eyes went wide.

Everyone was quiet, Makoto turned back to her friend, confusion written on her face. Usagi looked around the room, everyone looked at her for an explanation. _They really thought I was with Seiya?_

"We had talked to Setsuna yesterday after you left them... we just thought..." Minako stated softly.

"What exactly did you think?" She asked her friends, a bit sharply.

"Well... "Ami started off clearing her throat. "Setsuna told us you had a breakdown when she told you to break it off with Seiya..." She said a blush barely rising on her cheeks- embarrassment of possibly being wrong. "So when Luna called saying Mamoru had practically carried you home from some club... we thought you had gone there to break it off with Seiya, and he had done something to make you collapse". She finished looking up at Usagi for clarification.

Usagi looked down for a moment, confusion in her own eyes. Why had Mamoru carried her home? She couldn't understand it.

"I wasn't with Seiya...I went in there to get out of the rain" She started still looking down. She could see it all- just as if it were happening again. "The lights made me a bit dizzy, so I got some water..." She said smiling a bit to herself remembering the waiter.

"Is that how you collapsed?" Rei asked.

Usagi's smile faded and she shook her head, "No... I saw Mamo-Chan." She looked up a bit, everyone looked even more confused then before. "Doesn't it seem a bit weird that he didn't come to my party...and he's been too busy to see me at all? Yet, he can go to a club right after calling me to tell me he had a meeting?" She asked blankly.

"Usagi, I'm sure it was nothing..." Minako said smiling half-heartedly.

"Really? Then how do you explain the two woman on his arms?" She asked softly, really looking for an answer.

She watched as Rei's eyes widened, as did Makoto's. "I'm sure it was dark in there...I don't think he would do that..." Ami said, scrunching her eyebrows together.

"Well he certainly didn't pull away when one of them kissed him..." She stated bluntly, Rei's eyes widened even more, Minako put a hand over her mouth, and Ami sat silent- racking her brain for an explanation.

"I can't believe Mamoru would do that to you..." Makoto said sitting hard on the bed.

"I just don't understand..." Usagi said softly shaking her head. "Why did he carry me home...?"

**Hey guys! Here's your next chapter! I hope you like it…This was a bit difficult for me to write, I'm not sure why though… I don't really like the 'future self' stuff as much as I had envisioned it… So sorry about that! . Thanx for all of your great reviews!**


	12. Chapter 12: No Sense

Sunlight barely came through the closed curtains; the cloth was pulled as tightly together as they could possibly go. Nothing but the silent ticking of a wall clock, hidden somewhere in the depths of the room. Shadows cast themselves over the already dark furniture, a lone figure barely visible sat in the darkest corner.

The glass in his left hand clinked around the ice, but again all fell silent.

_What happened?_ Mamoru thought holding his head. Pain cascaded throughout his head and body, but it didn't make the images any less friendly.

Usagi's shocked face haunted his head, rolling around playing with his already mixed-up emotions. _Why had she been there in the first place? _

**That's not the point, and you know it.**That sly voice said, cracking into his conscious.

_What's that supposed to mean?_ He asked himself, his drink already fogging up his head.

**Why have you been avoiding her?** It asked back.

_I..._ He stopped short; he really didn't have an explanation.

Holding his head more, he gritted his teeth against the pain of his hangover.

A loud knock resounded on the door before he was able to keep up the conversation with that voice. He didn't move to answer it, hoping whomever it was would just turn away, and leave him in his own self-wallow.

"Mamoru?" A call came out as the door was opened, and the lights flicked on. His two friends stood in front of him, "Dude you look like hell", the shorter said.

"Come on, we gotta get outta here. Some pretty fine woman will be at the club tonight," The other said smirking. He really didn't see anything wrong with the situation.

Drinking the rest of his drink in one gulp, and making it harder for that voice to reach him. What was he supposed to do about anything right now?

--

Seiya stood practically glaring at the screen in front of him. "I told you it was no problem sir," a security guard said behind him, but nothing fazed him at that moment. "Just seems like the guy was caught in the act", the buffed up guard said and laughed.

On the screen was the club the night before; he watched as Mamoru walked straight up to his beloved Usagi, watched the wretched heart felt look come across her face, and finally watched her fall without anything from her supposed fiancé. Rewinding it back and focusing on his goddess, he watched her have her heart torn out over and over. His teeth gritted and he slammed his fist hard down on the keyboard it made the other man jump back.

"He can't do that to her..." he mumbled before turning and walking straight out the door of the club. "Not if I have anything to say about it".

A couple hours went by and Seiya made his way to the last club on his list. The sun had started to settle, and the lights light up around the capital- making everything seem more like daylight than it actually was.

He was walking down an ally into the hidden entrance, when just as he was reaching for the door- it opened. It _slammed_ opened and out stumbled Mamoru, the man of the hour.

_Just my luck_. Seiya thought as he scoffed, looking at the pathetic man in front of him. His shirt open and missing buttons, his pants wrinkled and town a bit, his hair was disheveled. It already looked like someone beat the crap out of him; unfortunately it was just how someone so drunk off his ass looked.

Stumbling along, he reached out for something that wasn't there, until he finally fell into a puddle. Giggling a bit, he picked himself back up still wobbling. Seiya watched in disgust at the display; _Usagi actually loved this man?_ Or at least she used to.

Mamoru's head lifted and he noticed the other man standing there, looking at him- though he didn't quite notice the look of disgust and hate clearly written on his face. "Seiya?" He asked before stumbling his way with a smirk on his face. "How are you man?"

"A lot better than you, obviously," he said, not trying to hide his feeling for the other man. Mamoru only laughed again.

Suddenly Mamoru looked sullen, almost in contemplation. "You know, I used to worry about you and Usa-ko..." he started. Seiya balled his hands into a fist- _that stupid pet name again, he doesn't have the right to say it anymore! _"But I've realized, she will always be mine. No matter how bad I've treated her, she wants to be queen so badly it won't even matter. Right?" He was right in the middle of a huge smile when Seiya's fist finally connected with his jaw.

Mamoru fell back, hitting the wall behind him hard, but before he had a chance to blink- he was hit again. Knocking his head to the left, he felt the pain shoot out from his cheekbone as it slammed into the brick.

"You have no right to do that to her!" Seiya yelled, hitting him again. "She's done _everything_ for you, been _everything_ for you, she's _waited_ for you for so long- _not_ because of her damn _future_, but because she was in _love_ with you!" He said, hitting him again and again at each height of his words. Backing up against the opposite wall, gasping for breath he watched the other man sink to the ground.

Spitting up a good amount of blood from his busted lip, Mamoru's head rolled until he heard that annoying voice yet again.

**He's right you know**, it spat out at him. Mamoru's eyes opened but his vision kept spinning, it was almost as if the voice was all around him. _I know... _he said softly.

"Usa-ko...what did I do..." he said aloud in his drunken stumper before his eyes closed and he passed out, with an image of the moon behind his eyelids.

**--Hey guys! Whats up? Ive been sooo busy lately, and i apologize- im trying to get a new chapter up each week...well see if i make it or not, lol. Thank you all so much for your reviews! They really mean the world to me! Kaley**


	13. Chapter 13: Sunset Turned Ice

"Usagi-Chan, you up yet?" Rei said knocking on her friend's door lightly. "Usagi?" She said when she got no answer, opening the door to find the room empty.

"Oh, Rei she already left this morning" Usagi's mom said stepping off the stairs with a basket of clothes at her hip. "Something seems to be bothering her...I wish she'd tell me..." she said mumbling off to herself- her face falling into a frown.

"Oh, don't worry about it. Everything will be fine again in due time Mrs. Tsukino" Rei said, trying to lift her own face into a smile. The worried mother lifted her lips in a half-hearted smile, until she moved and let her pass.

"Where on earth could she be?" Rei said to herself, pulling out her communicator as she left the Tsukino house.

Usagi sat with her hands folded in her lap; the ocean view right in front of her. The soft wind lifted and danced with the loose strands of her golden hair, as the leaves above her played in shadows on her face.

_What went wrong? _She asked herself over and over- time and time again, though still never receiving a good enough response. It had been at least a week since the incident at the club, and the only thing she thought about was everything seemed to be going wrong.

_Everything must be my fault, someway or another_. She mused softly staring at the lapping water. _Was I too much of a baby when he left? So much that he made his mind up about us before even getting back? That must have been it. _

"What do I do now?" She said aloud, looking up at the sky to find an answer. Alas, there was no sign of the moon, and it was too sunny for the stars. She was left to think this out on her own.

Behind her the small beach-side shops started settling in for the sunset, music from a radio lifted and carried over the breeze to Usagi's ears; playing out just how she felt, in a song she had never heard before.

"...There were times

I would sit all alone with the rain outside.

Many times.

I would pray that my letters would reach your heart.

With words that travel over the seas,

Thoughts that bring you nearer to me.

I'm missing you I have to say.

That these tears inside wont go away..."

"Usagi Tsukino?" Her sorrow filled thoughts burst as a mans voice entered her ears. Looking up she blocked the stream of sun that moved in front of her vision.

"Mmn?" she mumbled still trying to see the shadow that loomed over her. The shadow broke into two forms, finally blocking enough of the sun that she saw their faces.

There standing right in front of her were the two college friends of Mamoru. "We wanted to talk to you..."

Anger surged through her, a feeling so strong she had never felt before. _Getting mad would only make them happy_. She thought to herself as she tried to force her lungs to take a breath and calm down. She closed her eyes and lifted her chin in defiance.

"I have nothing to say to either of you," she said, her voice coming out dripped with ice and uncaring.

"But..."

"If you'll excuse me," She said rising as elegantly as she ever had, she walked straight through the two. Not looking back and not caring. It was time she stopped feeling sorry for herself- it obviously wasn't helping anyone.

"I've cared so much about what you thought. He expects me to act like a baby- that's what I'm best at is it? Not anymore. You want an Ice Queen Mamoru, you have one."

Usagi walked until the last bits of the sad song died in her footsteps.

**-----Man I didn't realize how long it's been since I updated! Sorry guys! I'm thinking maybe two more chapters left...then maybe a sequel..what do you guys think? **

**Thank you so much to the continuous reviews: CasseeinaMirror (your comments mean so much!), Eternal Lady, starangel07, Chibi Doo, Lunadoragon, TsukinoGoddess, and many more! They really mean the world to me!**

**Kaley**


	14. Chapter 14: Time Has Changed

"Everyone! I've decided..." Usagi started, interrupting the loud chatter of her best friends. They were in Rei's room, all around the table- just like old times, musing over magazines and music.

She waited until all attention was on her, "I'm going to start acting my age. I know, I know. It doesn't seem like I'll ever grow up, but I'm starting, and I really mean it!" She waited until the skepticism cleared their faces and went on. "In fact I enrolled myself into the Community College, I'm going to start taking some summer classes. I've decided to think about my own career. I can't depend on being queen when..." a small hitch caught her throat, but she shook it off and went on, "Minako you have your stardom, Rei you have your fashion and being a priestess, Makoto your the best cook in Japan, and Ami you've already settled on being a doctor. So I decided it is just about time I picked something." She finished with a self-satisfied smile on her face.

"Wow Usagi..." Rei said, eyes wide. Luna sat next to her with her small cat jaw dropped.

"That's great!" Makoto and Minako said in unison, laughing to themselves.

"I'm so proud of you! What have you decided to be?" Ami said, leaning in on her elbows.

"Well..." She started and they all leaned in closer, "I haven't really thought yet!" She said laughing as they all sweat-dropped. "Though somewhere in between Business and Writing!" She said holding out her hands. "It's not that big of a gap...is it?"

Two days later Usagi walked down the streets of Tokyo, looking in the different shops- her hands already full of bags. Luna strolled along at her feet wearing a pretty pink ribbon on her neck. "Usagi you really think you need all those new clothes for college?"

She turned to look down at her companion with a smirk on her face, "Hey, what can I say? When I start shopping, I can't stop!" she laughed a bit as the cat shook her head in dismay.

Just as she was about to add another comment about buying the ribbon, a voice rang out- startled. "Usa-ko!" Like a piece of ice sliding down her back- time stood still for the young woman. Just like in slow motion, she turned her attention back in front of her- and there just a few paces away... was her once-upon-a-time prince. Once again, she couldn't breath.

It was as if he too was in the shock of his life, this time with no alcohol to cloud his conscience and vision. He took a step forward, walking as if some invisible force held him back. He looked awful- his hair in disarray, facial hair growing a bit, and his clothes all wrinkled up. "Usagi...I..." He said with a gulp.

Shaking her head slightly, she cleared her throat from all the emotion she had felt. _I'm a new person; I can't let what he did affect me_. She looked back up to him and as cold as ice she began to speak. "Mamoru... I don't wish to argue with you, nor bring up anything that has happened."

He looked relieved, standing a bit straighter. He took a few more steps toward her- that is until she held her hand up to him. Confused he stopped and began to really listen to her for the first time- as an adult.

"Mamoru, I have nothing to say to you... I thought you had surely ruined everything I had ever wished for... all my hopes and dreams for the future." She said, a bit of emotion crept back into her voice and he started to interrupt, "No! Let me finish" _I'm going to do this...I need to do this_. "After everything, I have thought for hours on end that I would never recover... but it occurred to me, you didn't for once think of my benefit when you did whatever it is that you did, that's why we're here at this turning point aren't we? So, I thought and decided... I'm moving on... Without you." She stated, harshly.

Just as if he had been smacked, his entire body flinched, though she couldn't see- his eyes slowly filled with tears that clouded the vision of his princess.

"I don't know what the future holds for us anymore Mamoru, I wish I did. I don't know if we will be King and Queen one day... But that day isn't today. I don't see it in the near future either, though that could change, I have to do what I feel right now. That is to live my life for me. I've made changes already- though you can't see. I'm even starting school!" She said and smiled a bit. "Mamoru, I don't want to hate you..." The word tripped out of her mouth before she could think, though after a second- she knew she was right. "I don't. I don't want to think about what you did everyday forever- so I'm putting it aside...and moving on." She started walking toward him, standing beside him now- though not looking at him, just straight ahead. "Maybe we'll meet again and have a chance to start over..." She said softly and started walking, and not looking back.

"Usagi, I'm very impressed and proud of how you acted today, running into Mamoru-san..." Luna said sitting next to her long time friend. The wind shifting softly as they stood on the small balcony of her room.

Usagi didn't say anything then, but just smiled and looked up to the moon- that finally shone as brightly as it ever had. Moment passed where they sat in silence, surely thinking of all the times that had passed sitting just like this.

"No matter what obstacles come my way, I'll pull through them. This time with my head held high, becoming the adult I was born to be. So, from this day on..."

The moon began to expand, as she talked- into a full moon instead of it's half.

"I'll spread my Silver Wings, and aim for my Golden Dreams."

**-------------**

**So Usagi is growing up and thinking for herself, first and foremost. I know alot of you were hoping for some dramatic piece once they met, but I've decided to leave this just the way it is, and start a new story- with Usagi starting out in college... But there is a slight twist, which will thorw these two at each other again and again. Truley dramatic scenes will be displayed then. **

**So in other words...this part of the story is finished. Once I have the next one up, I will update this one with a new chapter, just giving a preview and the link to the new story, instead of having you all wait and searching for it :) **

**Once again, I appreciate all the comments I have received making this story, and I hope you will follow me into the continuation, but if not- I want to thank you once again for being there and making it a truely wonderful experience with my first fanfic!**

**-Kaley**


	15. Chapter 15: New Story

Hey guys! Heres the link to the new story following this one! Hope you all like it as much as you did with this one!

http // www . fanfiction . net / s / 3187856 / 1 /

Thank you all who read and reviewed this story it ment alot to me!

Kaley


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